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But the world of online dating can be difficult in a very specific way for those who identify as multiracial. Whether it's some drunk guy saying, "You're so hot, I don't care that you're Hispanic" (I'm not Hispanic), or someone finding out my dad is from India and then only wanting to talk about curry and Bollywood, my experiences as a multiracial woman have been marked by people just not knowing how to bring up race without being incredibly awkward. As a biracial person and the creator of the hashtag, I've experienced this firsthand."In person there's not a good way to say ' I'm biracial, don't be weird' before someone makes it a thing."That said, the people who are going to make it a "thing" will likely do so, regardless of whether they're meeting you IRL or on an online dating website.As anyone who's ever received a "I've still been asked 'what are you/where are you REALLY from/do you date white guys' by men IRL, but it's usually not as in-your-face, I guess, as [on] OKCupid," Vanessa said.According to mixed-race Grindr user Ben*, 23, when people say they're looking exclusively for, say, Asians or Latinos, it's often in a fetishizing way, as if the users are looking for a race and not a person."I definitely see the ' No Asians' or ' No Latinos,' but also ' Into smooth Asians' or into 'sexy Latino men,'" he told Many users speak of their ambiguous ethnicity being used as a pick up line, either through direct questioning or comments like, "You look so exotic." "I don't typically get messages that come off as flirtatious or fetishizing me right off the bat, but some people will message me being like ' What's your mix? It's a question many mixed race people are familiar with, a subtle code for "Why don't you look the way I think you should? Alyssa*, 25, a woman of Japanese and white heritage, used OKCupid before she got into a long-term relationship.
I don't think it's happened yet." : Ultimately, there is no polite or respectful way to ask someone what their race is on a dating app or IRL. " may seem harmless, but they send many mixed race people on edge.
Therefore, it is ultimately a discriminatory sentiment." In short, people who message mixed-race people might think they're complimenting them on how "exotic" they look.