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Taking a term from dialectical behavior therapy, we must radically accept the reality of our child’s life: they are who they are, and moving them towards a healthier outcome will not be hastened by overly harsh control or excessive demands beyond their current capabilities.We cannot allay our fears by forcing them into the mold that we want for them.Executive Function (ADHD) Coaching, to help them better organize their lives, stay on task and complete projects successfully;3.

Although it is never easy or fast, it can be made far more bearable if we begin by setting realistic expectations based on clear data regarding our child’s capabilities and limitations.Whatever this young man might become – with the right support and treatment – he was not yet capable of mustering the cognitive and emotional skills needed to be successful as a young adult.As painfully apparent as this might have been to me, the mom still held on to an image of her son as capable but willful: if he only tried, he could make it, just like his peers.In our heart of hearts, we know we will continue to love our children no matter what happens, to support them no matter what it takes.

But in the face of these overwhelming challenges, how do we find the path that will help them heal and learn the requisite skills of adult life?To see those dreams become hazy and unclear, to feel them fall apart, can be an experience that parents find frightening.